As ever, the media was awash with (oh all right, “had a fair number of”) cracking good April Fools Day jokes, i.e. fake stories presented as the real thing, at the start of this month.
For me, there was one stand-out offering that must qualify as one of the greatest AFD spoof stories of all time.
There was just one snag. It wasn’t actually an AFD spoof story. I treble-checked the date and it was published, in the Daily Telegraph, on April 6. (Perhaps it was a stray.)
It concerned a move by a local authority to allow councillors to wave a card and leave their meeting for a period of recovery if the heat of debate proved too upsetting for them.
When I finally stopped creasing myself with laughter, I got to thinking of any Falmouth council chamber argy-bargy that might have led to such a departure if the option had been available.
The nearest I could come to it was a case back in 1987 that attracted national publicity, with two diddums members leaving with their tales between their legs after receiving an almighty dressing down from their chairman.
But first, that Telegraph story from last week . . .
It reported that the Liberal Democrat-run Wymondham Town Council in Norfolk had introduced the card measure after one of its members, 25-year-old Green councillor Joe Barrett, said a speech had triggered a “psychiatric emergency” that had meant he had to leave the meeting for 20 minutes.
His card system proposal was unanimously approved by his council colleagues. The new system would allow councillors to hold up cards to indicate that they needed to leave the room for mental health reasons.
Once they have raised their cards, the Wymondham councillors will be able to adjourn to a specially designated room, where they will be provided with water and “advice on grounding techniques, such as breathing exercises.”
This was all in the wake of Mr Barrett having been “catastrophically” affected by another member’s speech, accusing the council of having “achieved nothing, and the situation had been made worse for Mr Barrett by the lack of “a perceived means of escape.”
So now let’s wind the clock back 37 years and the incident that came to my mind regarding two Falmouth councillors who, without a card in sight, found themselves leaving the chamber in a bit of a two-and-eight.
Here’s how I described it in my book, The Lighter Side Of Local Life:--
Roy (Standring), like all editors and anyone else in management, in any sphere, and/or attending anything resembling a formal meeting, would never have dreamt of not wearing a tie.
Nowadays, of course, it is very much an endangered species. Early pioneers of its decline to near-extinction included a couple of Falmouth town councillors, whose antics yielded some memorable quotes in the debating chamber.
In the summer of 1987, Councillors George Greene and Alan Nelson made a small but notable contribution to the history of fashion, in another saga that was recorded in both the Packet and the national press.
The pair turned up for a Falmouth Town Council meeting minus ties, which led Mayor Bill Smith, a retired Army major and very much old school, to thunder: “I sincerely hope that on civic occasions you wear your Falmouth Town Council ties.
“Certainly, at the six full council meetings you should be properly dressed and wear your tie with pride and show respect for your constituents and our 300 years of tradition.”
He asked the two rebels if they were prepared to do this. Councillor Nelson refused and Councillor Greene said he would if he felt it was “appropriate.”
At this, Councillor Gordon Harrison, a retired police officer, successfully moved a proposition under standing orders dealing with disorderly conduct.
“I’m getting a little tired of this tiresome tie tirade,” he said. “I can only suspect a deeper purpose . . . and that is to bring this council into ridicule. I therefore move that Councillors Greene and Nelson be no longer heard as far as this meeting is concerned.”
At that, the tie-less two trooped out, with Councillor Greene commenting: “We can’t stay if we can’t speak . . . we are the ones who have been insulted.”
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