AT LAST: A NEW WINNER IN THE GRAND OVERDONE LOVE SCENE AWARD SCHEME

“A shared crescendo like a hymn of heaven and a thousand sweet symphonies.”

 

From time to time down the decades, in MT columns in various media outlets, and with tongue firmly in cheek, I have referred to my annual Grand Overdone Love  Scene Award Scheme.

 

Loosely defined, this served to highlight total tosh from writers who should know better and which, even now, I can scarcely believe ever actually made it into print.

 

The scheme has all but gone into hibernation, however, with one writer having remained the unchallenged No 1 year after year.

 

Until now.

 

Thanks to a fresh reading of Arthur Hailey’s best-selling AIRPORT, published in 1968, I now realise that the previous champion, at long last, must surrender his dubious title.

 

Here’s Hailey’s winning contribution:--

 

“ . . . she had wanted to hurry, and cried out, ‘Yes, yes! Oh please, I can’t wait!’ But he insisted gently: ‘Yes, you can, you must.’ And she obeyed him, being utterly, deliciously in his control, while he led her as if by the hand like a child, close to the brink, then back a pace or two while they waited with a feeling like floating in air; then near once more, and back, and the same again and again, the bliss of it all near-unendurable; and finally when neither of them could wait longer, there was a shared crescendo like a hymn of heaven and a thousand sweet symphonies, and if Cindy had been able to choose a moment for dying, because nothing afterwards could ever be that moment’s equal, she would have chosen then.”

 

Opinions may vary, of course, but you might agree with me that this puts Wilbur Smith’s offering in THE BURNING SHORE, from 40 years ago, well and truly in the shade:--

 

“When he smiled at her, Centaine felt the world lurch beneath her feet.  When it steadied, she realised that it had altered its orbit and was on a new track amongst the stars. Nothing would ever be the same again.”   

 

Personally, I think the wonder of it all is how/whether Messrs Hailey and Smith could possibly have kept a straight face when writing this stuff.  Maybe they didn’t!